Funny Valentine's Day Gifts

Want to say happy Valentine's Day without going all soppy about it? You're in the right place. The joke is already on the candle, so you get to be funny and still mean it.

Fancy something daft? There is 'I love you more than seagulls love chips' and 'best Tinder match ever'. Prefer the domestic sort of romance? Try 'there's no one else I'd rather warm my feet on than you', or the one about loading the dishwasher wrong.

For a wife, a husband, a girlfriend or a boyfriend, on the 14th or whenever you get round to it. Pick the one that sounds like the two of you.