Rude Gifts

Looking for a gift that makes someone laugh and go slightly red? You are in the right place, whether it is a birthday, Christmas, or just someone who has earned it.

Want it affectionate? Plenty of these are rude and soft at the same time, like ‘You're a knob but you're my knob’ and ‘In this world full of twats... you're my favourite’. Want it filthier? There are just as many that go all the way, including ‘Happy birthday you big minge’.

Birthdays, Christmas, milestone years, or a friend who gives as good as they get. Someone else already wrote it, so you get the credit. Pick the one that sounds like you.