Rude Valentine's Gifts

Want a Valentine's gift that is romantic in your own particular way? You are in the right place, whether you have been together six months or sixteen years.

Feeling romantic? Plenty of these are soppy with a wink, like ‘Congrats on being my boyfriend (you lucky b*stard)’. Feeling less romantic? There are just as many built on the small stuff, including ‘I love you even though... you talk through every f* film’ and ‘I love you... but please stop using my razor on your fanny’.

Valentine's Day, an anniversary, or a Tuesday when you fancy making them laugh. Nobody has to write a poem. Pick the one that sounds like you.